~* Berries's Dove *~

Confuse

2009-08-04T23:20:00.002+08:00

I never know whether my choice is right or wrong..
I have been feeling insecure all the while..
I want you, I love you but it seems like not working out..
I respect your decision as what you always said..
Clueless..

Despair

2009-07-29T21:25:00.003+08:00

When you have chosen any other thing over me..
I ask myself, how much I worth to you..

I'm walking away..

Flow

2009-07-28T02:32:00.005+08:00

If even though I am someone to tell you not to do something..
And if you really want to..
I believe that still I do not have the power to stop you..
Well oh well, I am here to accept..
=)
And to accept every little thing..

Love, feelings and what-so-ever..
I do respect whatever decision you have made or going to make..
It is because you're important..

Appreciate is the only word I can be expressing myself..

Love and feelings will be down to the bottom of my heart..
- Locked up -

I want you..
And I really do..
I'm there, still there.

Enough

2009-07-26T23:54:00.003+08:00

If you ever do not know how to appreciate me..
If you ever do not appreciate my love..
If you ever do not appreciate my effort..
If you ever do not take me seriously..
And if you ever take me for granted..
Enough is enough..

Sorrowness

2009-07-24T01:32:00.002+08:00

When things do not work out, people start blaming on Fate.

Instead of putting effort to make things work out once again.

Baring it all alone.

Sighs

2009-07-23T21:11:00.005+08:00

I don't wanna fight no more.
I got it alright?
I just want someone to listen.
And I am finding a way to release.
Whatever it is, I am sorry.
The moment we hug..
The moment I miss the most..

Are you, taking your steps and leaving me behind?

Abnormal

2009-07-21T01:28:00.003+08:00

Gees why must you behaved so abnormal as being, showing or acting that you don't care? Or you seriously never mind about it anymore and if is like you're alright with any single thing. I realized that I have actually never know how to react towards it. Is heart broken that when someone meant a lot to you but you're just no longer to keep telling him all the words like I miss you, I love you, you meant the world, you're important and stuff when the particular person is not giving any reactions to you which showed that he is actually or might be numb with all that??? Ouh yea.. I ended up thinking so much as why is he acting that way lately. I do take things seriously but sadly people will only think or thought that I'm fooling around. Like what Andrew actually throw it right on my face! And yes I ended up having a fight with him and telling all sorts of stuff deep down the bottom of my heart. I don't need to prove and I do not need to write on my forehead, start telling and showing everyone that how much I care, how serious I am and stuff alright? If you couldn't feel it then leave it! I would rather keep it to myself. I am tired and I just want someone that I can actually lean on and take care of me. Someone who can actually make me feel belongs to. If you no longer have feelings on me.. Sleepless night and I got to attend that freaking work tomorrow at 730 a.m. and do nothing in the office BUT receiving complains regarding that I am too free. And now I got blame for being free as you hired me for nothing and you got no work for me to do! I would like to throw a sentence of WTF right on your face, stupid bitch! And I do feel like quitting! My patience are so going to reach the limits. It seems like everything so fucked up!

- Nik's wedding pictures will be upload soon -
Signing off * trying to get some sleep
Cath's mood: Upside down. If you're not important..

Lyrics tell it all..

2009-07-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

Adam Lambert - No Boundaries
Nickelback - If Today was Your Last Day

Clueless

2009-07-14T11:05:00.002+08:00

Great I am having right side migrain now in the office. All by myself alone.
Can't you just stop calling and sms-ing me as I've already freak out by your emotional and actions.
Guys.. who taking promise so so so important..
I've got too many disappointment from promises and I knew the feeling of being disappointed...
Why promise when I know no one can do it and expect me to do what I've promised..
Promise, always causing me trouble and problems.
The best thing is I never promise but I am accused that I've promised but in the end I got anger and hurtful sentences in return because I never fulfill it.

* I am left clueless! *
- I never like this feeling. =.=ll -

Piss!

2009-07-06T10:24:00.003+08:00

I am getting more and more frustrated over the Management of the college as they are happily holding my full transcript as well as my letter of completion! I could not proceed with the process of registration with another institution without the document! Dumbass!

-They love to drag and drag and drag no matter what it is regarding about!-
It is so so so inefficient!!

Off Track..

2009-07-03T10:16:00.002+08:00

Not into updating lately. Don't ask it is because I don't have an idea why is it so.
Maybe I'm spending my time only on Facebook.
I am so off track lately. I've lost my sense and never know what I want to do and what I am going to do next. It seems like I have already missed out a lot of things..
Sadly, I've no longer able to capture with what I used to handle..
* Hiding silently at the corner *
And if only what he blogged is about me..
=)

I'm not Blessed

2009-01-25T01:40:00.002+08:00

You will never knows that how she feels while you blamed on her for not telling her there's a class as do you think she can remember everything and be like a postman or internet to keep everyone update on everything when you do not even give the effort to ask her? C'mon! She's a human and she got her own problems to settle. She's not a machine okay?! Do you ever think of how she feels while you're blaming her and questioned her in front of everyone? More over is your responsibility to find out if there is a class as someone does. After all you are showing your temper by switching seat! Godness, she's so disappointed! Why human lately tend to be so selfish and not thinking of how other people feel? Especially when he says: I wonder if there's somebody is willing to marry you as a wife... He never ever thinks that is so hurtful to a girl as she is his own girlfriend and the sentence came out of his boyfriend's mouth. Oh My God! What is happening to the earth?!

- I started to feel that I am not blessed with anything and anyone in this world -

* Whatever! *

Latest Photo

2008-12-21T17:31:00.001+08:00

Here's the update of my latest look =.='

And please stop complaining that I never update my blog as I am really lazy!

Is Sabrina and Me!

Difficult Time

2008-11-12T20:23:00.002+08:00

Going through difficult time alone lately.

Really need to take a break after my internship!

Neglect

2008-11-07T20:12:00.002+08:00

I'm busy as usual. Went to the airport to pick up an important guest from the airport for the sake of picking up and get a better comment for my internship which caused me have not enough rest! Due to the busy days, I've realise that I've been neglecting a lot of stuff around me. Well, is actually I've get disappointed and bored over something. There's changes need to be make, I'm afraid and feelings are fading away. More and more questions are popping out in my mind. Why this and why that.. Bla bla bla.. No answer still! Lately is like I do everything for the sake of doing. I got everything for the sake of having it. One word can be described all, Meaningless! And why should I pretend that I know nothing when I actually know what is going on?

Win a Free HandBag!

2008-10-04T13:27:00.002+08:00

Hey girls!

Wanna win a free handbag?

Click on this link!

http://www.handbagplanet.com/

Act now without thinking twice!

An Amazing Calculation

2008-10-04T12:56:00.003+08:00

Again. I've received this by my e-mail.

1) Key-in the first 3 digits of your handphone number (not the 01x number) into the calculator.

2) Multiply by 80

3) Add 1

4) Multiply by 250

5) Plus last four digits of phone number

6) Plus last four digits of phone number again

7) Minus 250

8) Divide by 2 at last

Look at what you got?

Have Fun and Stay Cool Always~!

Dancing With God

2008-10-02T12:26:00.002+08:00

Well, I just got this e-mail from Patrick. =)

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other. My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw "G: I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i". "God, "u" and "i" dance." God, you, and I dance. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead. My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life. This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached. If God has done anything for you in your life, please share this message with someone else, for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards; so let's continue to pray for one another. And I Hope You Dance!

* I've found it a meaningful one *

Small Little Meet Up

2008-09-28T13:02:00.003+08:00

Small little meet up session with the secondary schoolmates!

EeLing and Me!

Pao Kok, Me, HuiYen, EeLing and JunHo!

* My face is swollen in the photos as I am having serious allergic. =( *

Missed Out Photos

2008-09-28T12:48:00.002+08:00

I've just realised that I've missed out all these photos on my blog!

A night outing with the Girls in The Curve.

Enjoy!

Me and Adeline

Me and Adeline in The Apartment.

The Mirror Picture in Empress Cafe.

A Cheekie one by Amenda, Me and Adeline!

We Are Having A Good Time!

Love Amenda and Me!

Please Do Stay Tune, More to Come~!

Under Construction

2008-09-27T02:44:00.001+08:00

Due to Hui Ann and Kim who didn't know how to access further in my blog and Ivan keep complaining about my blog's navigations, I've decided to use back a simple template. Blog link will be update soon and decorations needed. Give me some time as I've just finished my yummy supper and heading to my bed! Adios!

Uh oh.

2008-09-26T01:45:00.002+08:00

Oh well, I think I better get back on track as ChinJou asked me to keep my blog ALIVE once AGAIN!

Here's a few things that I am going to update all of you:

1) I'm currently doing my internship in Glenmarie Holiday Inn Kuala Lumpur. So, I'm gonna be a little busy until December.

2) Unfortunately, I am allergic to the chemical that used in the housekeeping department of the hotel and I am on 2 weeks MC. Hoping to get well. My face swollen badly =.='' !

3) The skin of my hands and both legs are cracking. Thanks to the chemical and spent some amount on lotions, lip balms and medicine to get what suppose to be smooth, to be smooth again, what suppose to be recover and heal, to be recover and heal!

4) Good news. I got my facial wash that I wanted to use so eagerly back again and I've get rid of the cosmetics like foundation, bla bla EXCEPT my eye lashes mascara!

5) I am dying to collect more Belly Dancing Hip Scarves or costumes. So, please do tell me if you know any places are selling them!

6) I am so looking forward for a holiday right after my internship. I need to relax! The job is killing me!

(*-*) Signing off for bed time!

Serious Thought

2008-08-02T22:17:00.001+08:00

I really do feel like giving up ...

I see no future

Meaningful Day

2008-06-26T00:34:00.002+08:00

A very meaningful day for me...

Well, finally I have met up with a few of my cousins from Pang's family ^.^v in the hospital as my third cousin brother admitted due to the sickness of dengue. Of course, he is getting better and better. And soon we are going to have dinner in his restaurant right after he is back to his duty.

I felt the warm welcome from them, espcially my elder coursin brother who keep in touch with me until now. Is great to see you again and thank you for the hundo and asking permission from my father to allow you to take the responsibility as a cousin brother, to take care of me!

Thank you for letting me know that there is still somebody out there for me.

Cure

2008-06-02T00:14:00.001+08:00

Cure my heartaches

and

Stop my tears

- All the broken hearted, that once was me...

Someone To Love

2008-06-02T00:08:00.003+08:00

So hear my loneliness,

I'm giving up on you,

I don't need you anymore..

I've found what I've been looking for.

So hear my emptiness,

I've got no room for you,

I've finally found what I've been dreaming of..

Someone to love,

To hold,

To be my inspiration,

Someone to touch,

To cherish for life..

- Shayne Ward

That's My Goal

2008-06-02T00:02:00.001+08:00

I'm not here to say I'm sorry,

I'm not here to lie to you,

I'm here to say I'm ready,

That I've finally thought it through,

I'm not here to let you're love go,

I'm not giving up oh no,

I'm here to win your heart and soul..

- The Heartache

Until You

2008-06-01T23:55:00.001+08:00

It,

Feels like nobody ever knew me until you knew me..

Feels like nobody ever loved me until you loved me..

Feels like nobody ever touched me until you touched me..

Don't wanna run away..

Just wanna make your day..

Don't wanna make it worse..

Just wanna make us work..

Went Wrong

2008-06-01T23:50:00.002+08:00

I've abandoned my blog for sometime.

Lately, things ain't going the way I want them to.

I am feeling extremely despair.

And there's no one that allow me to turn to.

Save me please..

- The Despair

Shocking!

2008-05-04T16:35:00.002+08:00

I carried no more hope to the future...

_________________________________

Shocking news from Amenda!

Sabrina had banged Amenda's shoe rack with Amenda's car..

Sabrina: You need to practice on your driving skill, wey!

Very lucky, Amenda managed to save her tortoise from getting kill by Sabrina. Hahas!

_________________________________

I need a pair of Ballet Shoe so so much

and

Amenda need a pair of Crocs Shoe!

You Sucks!

2008-04-21T00:25:00.003+08:00

Quoted from a guy who posted this:
I would not have to worry about a person whinnying to you why you never spend time with her, your bank account would definitely be able to sustain and never reach the Rm10.00 minimum , you can enjoy endless outing with friends without feeling guilty and the list would go on !

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For all the above, you want a girlfriend for what since you said so?
Go and get a dog. Even a dog will bark you while you make her unhappy.

You f*ck a whore also need to pay, wey! You think there is free lunch in this world?

If you do not want to spend time with her then why hold on with her and waste her time?

She might be able to find somebody who is better than you.

And if you want your bank account to sustain then you ask the girl to pay everything for you, good idea?
Even if you rare a dog also you need to spend time with your dog, playing with your dog, feed your dog and bathe your dog.

Do not forget, dog food also need to buy with money.

Do not say only your girlfriend will do that to you. I am sure your mother will do the same.

Think with your brain, loser. Do not only know how to f*ck when you're horny!

Go and be a monk if this is the case.

Eric

2008-04-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

May you rest in peace, Eric.

You will always be in our hearts.

Our Presentation Day

2008-04-07T14:15:00.005+08:00

Again, is our presentation day!

Here's some photos over all.

Between, all the photos are taken by handphones as I'm rushing to college and have left my camera at home =.=''

Me and Nik!

Peace Direct Travel & Tour (M) Sdn. Bhd.

The Gang!

Me and Ellya

Me and Atiqah

Me and Amenda

Me and Wan

Wan and Ellya, The Couple!

Even though is tiring, we enjoyed the day! Good job Mates!

This is Love Event

2008-03-27T23:06:00.002+08:00

This is Love event by Nike.

Chia Ping and Me

Goodie Bag included Chenelle's CD + This is Love Event Nike's bracelet

High5 BreadTown

2008-03-27T22:55:00.004+08:00

Here's some photos of my High5 Breadtown tour.

Between, there's lot to improve in this trip. For example, transportation arrangement.

Ellya, Me, Atiqah, Amenda, Foong Ling and Navinn.

The so-called poser, Rizwan and Navinn

Me and Amenda

Me and Foong Ling

The Bread Models, Ellya, Me and Amenda. =.='' Ceh!

Surprise

2008-03-25T23:19:00.003+08:00

Life is always full of surprise.

I believe I can handle things by myself.

Between, I do not think that you need to be so mean.

Once year twice, will not take you much time.

He already not here..

That's all you can do for him. So why not?

But creating a fuss over about it.

And made me unhappy.

Who can I turn to when I have so much to say?

People tend to tell me: Hey, will you stop complaining? Hey, I had enough.. Bla bla bla and stuff.

Why must you be so selfish.

Alright fine, I will keep,

Until the end of the day...

I will say :

I had enough too!

Do I worth even a cent to anyone of you out there?

I do not think so!
It is because you do not show me I am!

Full of disappointment...

Soul-Out Hartamas

2008-02-29T00:12:00.006+08:00

28th February 2008, Soul-Out Hartamas

Me and Adeline.

Me and Amenda.

Me and Sabrina.

I am very round!

We got the same camera!

Our Dinner Session! Enjoyed!

More photo is coming up =D Stay Tune!

Reflects

2008-02-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

Reflects yourself if you didn't want me to do anything you dislike!

CNY 2008

2008-02-19T17:57:00.004+08:00

After 2 weeks of Chinese New Year break. Finally I found some time to update my blog.

Let me begin with my first day of Chinese New Year which is on the Thursday. I went back to my mother's hometown as usual and headed to Malacca in the afternoon and back to Seremban at night. Traffic is driving me and my mother CRAZY. Hehes. I am back to KL on the Saturday and brought my Cousin and Aunt along which I have spent my whole day in 1Utama and caught a movie with my Hubby. On the Sunday I went over to my Hubby's place for a visit. On the following Monday I went to Pulau Ketam with my Dad. Sadly I didn't take any picture as I am not encourage to bring my handbag along. Hehes. But I did brought back 3 little crabs. On the Friday I went Penang with my Hubby and Family. Overall is a nice trip as if there's nothing bad happen. Anyway, let us forget about the bad incident and only put those happy one in our memories! Hohoho~! Here's the pictures. Enjoy!

Mommy and Cousins in Malacca.

Cousin, Aunt, Mommy and Me in 1Utama.

Kek Lok Si Temple's view, Penang.

Me and Hubby in the Sleeping Buddha's Temple, Penang.

Hubby's relative. Cute Baby Girl.

Me and Hubby in Penang.

Me and Hubby's family.

Me and my Mr Donut.

The Mr and Mrs Donut.

Specially dedicated to my 3 little crabs: I am so sorry that all of you have gone to the heaven due to I am away for 3 days to Penang and no body feed you. =( Sob sob!

Looking forward for next holiday trip with my Dad which we're currently planning.

Stay tune for more updates.

Life is Nothing

2008-02-03T23:27:00.001+08:00

Why must I feeling so bad?

Somehow, I realised that actually life is nothing after losing my beloved Brother and Uncle. We should treat our dearest the best. But, in the real life is just opposite. People are leaving me one by one.

Of course I am feeling pain for the lost...

I am feeling more pain that arguements and fighting are happening among me and the loved one who are still here..

I could not the pain anymore...

Life is unfair once I have been born.

* God: You're just a bullshits. People says that you will take good care of your children when you hear us pray. But it is all bullshits! You gave me nothing except suffer! *

Whatever-larh

2008-02-03T18:22:00.000+08:00

If you think that I am not feeling heartache or sad over what had happened, I am lying.

Berries got her right eye injured =D Anyway will be going to the doctor as fast as possible.

* Berries is feeling despair and lost *

Deep inside me, I knew the dream or plan of mine will not come true.

Tears ain't helping.

I am unhappy...

No body loves me at all~ Who knew...

The Accident

2008-01-31T22:47:00.000+08:00

Here's my new post as ChinJou saluted me for my two sentences update! ^.^v

Let's start this very post with the story of the urge to bake my Husband pineapple tart..

So, I went all the way to One Utama Shopping Centre, Giant to get some ingredients.

I've decided to park my car at the new wing parking lot which located at the third floor. While I entered the parking lot. There's an Uncle driving a gold color Proton Waja sped up and cut in right in front of me. Ok, this is so fine for me seems that he is so 'kiasu' and worried that I will took his parking space first. I decided to let him go first. Until a junction and you suppose to make your decision, whether you want to turn right or left. He was driving kinda furious and turn right without putting his damn signal. And I was followed right behind his god damn car. He made an emergency break after he turned his car into the right junction half way, I managed to break my car and there's still a school table size of distance from his car. I saw him put his gear on to the reverse and I am about to put my gear to the reverse too so that he's able to reverse his car for space to turn to the left. Who knows this barger just reversed by speeding his car and banged into my car! I am sure he knew that I was behind him. The two Aunties was staring at me as it is my fault. I am being very patient, I parked my car at the side and take a look at my car whether he has caused any damage or not. That "Gentlemen" Uncle just speed up and parked at a parking unit and got down from his car. Three of them continue staring at me. He didn't even approach me and ask, whether am I alright and apologize to me due to what had happened. If he did, I think I will be feeling much better.

Specially to the Uncle and Aunties: I think you are that type of hit and run person. You're not gentlemen at all. So do that two aunties who are with you. I am sure you all come out from the rural area. Your parents didn't teach you what means manner? Three of you are just the shame of Malaysian and Chinese! Irresponsible. Your driving skill is super lousy and you're NOT cool at all. Moron!

Idiot! You should be feeling lucky that I am still so kind to edit off your car number plate. I should just let it expose on the blog. So that everyone can know your behaviour on driving a car! I think you're too clumsy with a big car. Might as well you use a Perodua Kancil! And this won't bring you into trouble and also protect other drivers on the road.

Berries's mood on Monday: Pissed off!

Moron

2008-01-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

What I've decided should be done.

- Be yourself -

New Year Eve

2008-01-02T20:47:00.000+08:00

Want to know how's my new year eve? One word and it will be sucks!

Was in The Curve. Youngster are spraying snow spray all around and throwing emptied bottle.

I was pushed by someone and nearly fall down. I think human should behave themselves.

- All these attitude just shown that they are so uncivilised and even worse than a beast. -

Tag Questions

2007-12-07T01:31:00.000+08:00

1) How old are you?

- 19.

2) Are you single or in a relationship?

- In a relationship.

3) In what age do you think that you'll get married?

- 24 perhaps.

4) Do you think you'll be marrying the person you're with right now?

- If only he wants me to be his bride.

5) If not, who do you think you want to marry?

- Can't I remain as single with a Pug or Bulldog?

6) Do you want a garden or beach wedding?

- Garden wedding.

7) Where do you plan to go on your honeymoon?

- Paris, France.

8) How many guests do you think you'll invite?

- No idea.

9) Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?

- Extravagant wedding.

10) How many layer of cake do you want to have?

- 9 I guess.

11) Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or a simple place?

- Hotel.

12) When do you want to get married? Morning or Evening?

- Morning.

13) You'd rather have your reception indoor or outdoor?

- Indoor.

14) Do you like a grand entrance?

- Of course.

15) How do you like the Bride enter?

- Walk in with the Groom elegantly?

16) Name the song or tune you'd like to play at your wedding.

- Only time by Enya.

17) Are you a morning person or a night person?

- I can be both.

18) Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?

- Solemn ceremony.

19) Describe your ideal husband or wife?

- Achiveable and a romantic one?

20) Do you prefer fine dining or normal fork and spoon?

- Fine dining.

21) Champagne or Red Wine?

- Champagne and Red Wine.

22) Honeymoon right after the wedding or the day after the wedding?

- Day right after the wedding.

23) Money or household?

- No money no household.

24) Are you ready for married life?

- If the man are ready to make me his bride, I'm always ready.

* Sometime marriage can be bullshits! *

Tree and Jungle

2007-12-07T00:23:00.000+08:00

As people always say: "Do not judge someone by just looking at their face."

Unfortunately, the historical says changed...

Hereby, sadly to tell you that, for the so first time I judged someone with her face and I am so correct about her.

Because of you're spoilt, doesn't mean that whole jungle are spoilt.

You're such a loser!

My 19th Celebration

2007-12-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

The exact day! 5th of Dec.

Buffet in OneWorld Hotel, Cinnamon Restaurant,

With my Dearest!

The food is just acceptable, but anyway, I enjoyed!

Mrs Donut & Mr Donut at The Sphere!

Nice Hotel Lobby Lounge with acceptable LiveBand performance.

To My Honey Piggy Sugar Mr Donut: Thank you for the night. You gave me a great 19th! Love you!! Here's a big kiss for you. Muaaackkkss!! Can you feel my saliva on your face? Hahas.

My Early 19th Celebration With Friends

2007-12-06T23:49:00.000+08:00

On the 4th Dec.
Lunch with friends in Paddington House Of PanCake.

ChinJou, Tina, Amenda, Me and LiLynn.

Thanks for the day Girls!

A present from LiLynn.

A Pair of yellow crystal's earrings! I never had a pair of yellow's. And now I have one. Thanks LiLynn!

Little present from Amenda!

I've made a real good guess on the present. Lols! Is another pair of earrings! I'm loving it!!

Here's the Birthday Cake!!

Thank you again for the wonderful day!!

Death

2007-11-24T00:13:00.000+08:00

Someone said: " I am not afraid of death."

I would say...

I do not know when am I going to be dead, but all I would like to do now is make everyday that I am still alive, useful.

At least I will not regret someday..

Happy Holiday IDHTM-ian!

Happy belated birthday to Ellya!!

Presentation Day

2007-11-13T03:18:00.000+08:00

Alright mate, here's a little bit about my presentation the 7th of November 2007 that worth putting in the memories.

The country of our presentation is India.

Check this photos out.

Due to FoongLing's lousy camera holding skill, her own face is missing. Lols. On the above, Sheema and Me.

FoongLing, Me, Nadia and Ellya =)

Group Photo

Nik, Nadia, Ellya, FoongLing, Me in pink and Malaz.

FoongLing, Nik, Me and Ellya.

Good job for the presentation. Thank you for the dancers and my models for the fashion show for giving co-operations. Happy working together!

Abandoned

2007-11-08T04:13:00.001+08:00

I am the abandoned soul ...

Feeling

2007-11-08T04:10:00.000+08:00

Inconsolable, Incomplete

Will you?

2007-11-08T03:55:00.001+08:00

Will you swim back to save me?

In my sea of broken dreams,

when my hopes are sinking ...

The Unfortunately

2007-11-08T03:24:00.000+08:00

I'm the one who won't be taken.

Love leads your soul to bleed.

The soul afraid of dying,

that never learns to live.

Everynow,

I get tired of listening to the sound of my tears.

If only you will hold me a little bit tighter ...

I'm always in the dark,

and now I am falling apart.

But there's nothing I can do about.

There's no easy way,

it gets garder each day.

Tormented and torn apart ...

Finally, The Update

2007-11-05T22:27:00.000+08:00

Blog is not updated due to:

1) The most important reason, I am too lazy.

2) Busy about my presentation lately.

3) Busy dating with my Husband.

But now finally updated. Lols

To all my friends who drop by my bloggie:

I don't sell salty fish on my blog. Will never ask salty fish from me yea?

Chin Jou:

So sorry couldn't make it for the latest girl gathering as I am having bad fever.

Presentation will be held tomorrow at 2 p.m in Cafe De One.

Thank god my hard time is going to over soon.

10.32 p.m

I am super sleepy and I got a pair of raccoon's eyes.

This is a very good reason for me to ...

...

....

.....

......

.....

....

...

Sign Off. Hahas!

终于。。。

2007-09-06T04:31:00.000+08:00

他终于离开了。。

听说投胎去了。。

我还是放不下。。

也不想放下。。

如果连他的灵魂也消失了。。

请问我剩下些什么？

我好不舍得。。

问了他一个好无聊的问题，

“如果有一天我死了，你会不会在我的丧礼上和我结婚？“

他回答说：“不会，你死了我干吗还要和你结婚啊？“

一个我早已有心里准备的答案。。

好失望噢。。

换成是我的话，我会。。

因为我真的用心去爱你！

经过一个很努力去讨好他的傍晚，

过后还是吵吵闹闹的。。

真失望！

最终，

我还是心死了。

一个在健康环境下成长的你。。

是无法了解我一路走来的过去。

我放弃了。。。

Away ~

2007-09-02T01:49:00.000+08:00

I've been away from home already 2 days. I am having bad rashes all over my neck due to the stupid necklace I bought with Amenda last time in the Curve. Couldn't remember when. Yeah, whatever.. Is not important when I bought it anyway. All I care about is when my rashes will get recover. It is bothering me so so much. The itchiness and pain -.=''

Last few days while I was reading a friend's blog. Guess what I've found out? Check this out on www.youtube.com search Kiwi Leong. My blog has been so dead for some time. I am bored to death right now as I do not know what is going on with my Audition account. Keep disconnected me from the server. I couldn't get to play my game. T.T Hmm.. Dota? No thanks!

Learned how to bake mooncake yesterday from my Hubby's Mother. Will try to bake on my own soon or later. Holidays only started for like one week and I already bored to death. How am I going to go through this so coming 3 weeks? zZzZz ..

I so wanna catch a movie as soon as possible so that I can enjoy my caramel popcorn!!

Help... Me

2007-08-27T02:19:00.000+08:00

I am really tired right now. I am lack of sleep for almost a week.

All I wish to do right now is get some rest before going to Seremban with my Mommy later.

I've been having nightmare this whole week. My body keep shaking after the nightmare has woke me up. Couldn't sleep back.

What is going on actually?

And why is the nightmares are bringing the same message? But in different situations?

I've tried to close my eyes. Tried my best to get some sleep. I couldn't get sleep at all tonight.

I feel the fear of getting asleep.

Can someone please help me?

Different Emotions Survey.

2007-08-21T00:32:00.000+08:00

1. What do you do when you're mad?

~ I curse.

2. What's the worst thing you have done when you're mad?

~ I pinch and bite myself.

3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?

~ I don't think so.

4. Do you swear when you're mad?

~ Sometimes, but not really. More to curse.

5. When was the last time you really cried?

~ Yesterday night.

6. Ever cried yourself to sleep?

~ Always.

7. What usually makes you cry?

~ My past. When I am left unwanted, uncare. Arguements that full of hurtful words.

8. Are you normally a happy person?

~ Are you kidding? Happy? You should say gloomy!

9. Does being your friends makes you happy?

~ Not really. As I got much to worry.

10. When people say that you are good looking or pretty, do you feel happy?

~ Nope. Normal.

Both taggie, Honestly and Different Emotions Survey.
I will tag LiLynn and ChinJou.

Honestly..

2007-08-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

1. Honestly, what color is your shirt now?

~ White.

2. Honestly, whats on your mind?

~ Sadness, much to fix.

3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?

~ Listening to Il Divo, sadness in the air.

4. Honestly, have you ever been in?

~ A dream that I always hope it will come true.

5. Honestly, have you done something bad today?

~ Late to my final exam. Is this consider?

6. Honestly, do you watch Animax?

~ Nope.

7. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?

~ My Hubby.

8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?

~ I got what I want. I do not need to be jealous.

9. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?

~ When I am left uncare.

10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?

~ I don't.

11. Honestly, do you use anyone?

~ Not yet. I will not guarantee that I won't use someone soon or later on.

12. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?

~ Yes. Even though I just had my dinner with him. Just feeling far apart.

13. Honestly, do you have a friend that you don't like?

~ Obviously, there's one.

14. Honestly, do you love someone very much?

~ Yes I do. Hopefully, we'll get to move on together for our future.

15. Honestly, does anyone like you?

~ No idea and I doubt so.

Tony Roma's

2007-08-20T20:51:00.001+08:00

17th August 2007 - Tony Roma's Dinner

Thank you Qaisar, the host. Nice seeing you again, Anne, Qaisar and Ali.

Photos Update

2007-08-20T20:22:00.001+08:00

13th August 2007 - Jogoya, Starhill Gallery

Happy Birthday Mommy~!

12th August 2007 - MMU, Cyberjaya

Lols. Finals?

2007-08-16T23:55:00.000+08:00

Exams and final is everything?

I would love to say, what the fuck?!

If finals and exams is so important to a student to be success in the future,

why I still see a university degree student being a taxi driver out there?

Funny right?

Spoon feed and memorise notes, dump into the answers.

You gonna eat shit after graduate.

I study smart, not study hard.

Only DumpAss study hard.

Stop making me feeling like a burden.

This is my life I know what to do with it.

Alright! I'm out, DumpAss!

I don't give a piece of shit!!

Update -!

2007-08-11T10:05:00.000+08:00

Before I go out with Hubby and his family. Let me drop by here for a few sentences.

First, I would like to thank Mommy and Kai Yeh for buying me a new digital camera. ^^v

Second, Congratulations to my Hubby. Finally you graduated after 5 yrs of hard work.

Third, Happy bithrday to Mommy and Hubby.

I am looking forward on our monday's Jogoya session with Kai Yeh. Yummy~!

Between, I'll update the tag that tagged by Chin Jou as fast as possible.

That's all for now!

Taggie

2007-08-07T19:56:00.000+08:00

Finally I've decided to update my blog again after all my lazy-ness.
Let's start the taggie that Chin Jou tagged me.

Here we go ...

Bold the ones you think it's true,

Italicize those you wish to be true!

1. I miss somebody right now.

2. I do not watch tv these days.

3. I wear glasses or contact lens.

4. I love to play video games.

5. I have tried marijuana.

6. I have been in a three some.

7. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.

8. I have changed my mentally over the last year.

9. I curse.

10. I am totally smart.

11. I've broken someone's bones.

12. I am paranoid sometimes.

13. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar free!

14. I need money right now.

15. I love sushi.

16. I talk really, really fast.

17. I have long hair.

18. I have lost money in Las Vegas.

19. I have at least one sibling.

20. I have worn fake hair, fingernails or eye lashes in the past.

21. I couldn't survive without called ID.

22. I like the way I look.

23. I am usually pessimistic.

24. I have a lot of mood swings.

25. I have a hidden talent.

26. I am always hyper.

27. I have a lot of friends.

28. I have pecked someone with the same sex.

29. I enjoy talking on the phone.

30. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.

31. I love to shop.

32. I enjoy window shopping.

33. I would rather shop than eat.

34. I don't hate anyone.

35. I am a pretty good dancer.

36. I am completely embarrased to seen with my mother.

37. I have a cell phone.

38. I believe in God.

39. I am a adrenaline junkie.

40. I watch MTV on a daily basis.

41. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.

42. I have rejected someone before.

43. I want to have children in the future.

44. I have changed a diaper before.

45. I have called the cops on a friend before.

46. I am not allergic to anything.

47. I have a lot to learn.

48. I am shy around members with the opposite sex.

49. I have make a move on a friend significant other or crush in the past.

50. I have tried alcohol before.

51. I own the South Park movie.

52. I would die for my best friend.

53. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.

54. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.

55. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.

56. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.

57. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.

58. I am happy at this moment!

59. I am obsessed with girls or guys.

60. I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.

61. I study for tests most of the time.

62. I am comfortable with who I am right now.

63. I have more than just my ears pierced.

64. I walk barefoot wherever I can.

65. I have jumped off a bridge.

66. I love sea turtles.

67. I spend ridiculous money on makeup.

68. Plan on achieving a major goaldream.

69. I am proficient in an musical instrument.

70. I hate office jobs.

71. I love sci-fi movies.

72. I think water rules.

73. I went college out of state.

74. I like sausages.

75. I love kisses.

76. I fall for the worst people .

77. I adore bright colours.

78. I cant live without black eyeliner.

79. I dont know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.

80. I usually like covers better than originals.

81. I can pick up things with my toes.

82. I can whistle.

83. I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.

84. I have ridden or owned a horse.

85. I still have every journal I've written in.

86. I can stick to a diet.

87. I talk in my sleep.

88. I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.

89. I have jazz in my blood.

90. Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.

91. I wear a toe ring.

92. I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.

93. I am a caffeine junkie.

94. I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.

95. I have been to over 15 conventions.

96. I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.

97. I am an artist.

98. I only clean my room when necessary.

99. I like a person of the same sex.

100. I love being happy.

Hi-Tea

2007-07-31T19:49:00.000+08:00

After a long day of work, I've pampered myself with my own created hi-tea.

Bought from the corner's mamak downstairs of my condo.

Teh-O Iced Limau with Papadam!! Whahaa!! Yummy!! o.0

~* Due to lack of sleep, Berries is a little bit hyperactive and syok sendiri -.='' *~

Drawings

2007-07-31T19:37:00.000+08:00

While Hubby saw this, on my white board ...

He said he saw this cartoon dog all around, even on his sister's rough paper. And he assume that this is the only cartoon I know how to draw. To prove that I know how to draw some other cartoon. I drew this ...

The Ninja Turtle which Hubby asked:" why your Ninja Turtle looks like a thief?" I was like ... -.='' Okay. And He added some pimples on the Ninja Turtle's face. What a good job he did! And he insisted to show me his drawing of Ninja Turtle. And this is his drawing ...

A Ninja Turtle which looks like Barney the Purple Dinasour to me. Hahas!!!

* I love you~ You love me. We are happy family~* By, Barney, The Purple Dinasour ...

Thank You, Sisters!

2007-07-31T19:28:00.000+08:00

Very touching ...

Amenda and FoongLing misses me during their Langkawi trip.

And they got me something.

Seashell's keychain and seashells with a few holes on it and same color, and that yummy chocolate that I swollowed into my tummy from FoongLing.

- Next time collect more and colorful one's for me. I love seashells. -

A purple chewing gum alike's bracelet with small little pink flowers on it from Amenda.

* I would like to thank both of my sister. Love the bracelet and seashells so do the keychain from both of you. Appreciated that. *

Cake Baking

2007-07-31T19:14:00.001+08:00

Finally, I got some free time to update my blog again.
Actually kinda tired after a day of work.

Anyway, I am feeling happy as I've quited the job. Lols

Last few days, Hubby wanted to eat butter cake.

So I've decided to bake him one.

Prepared the ingredients needed.

Shifted the flour together with the baking powder.

Blending the sugar, butter and eggs until fluffy.

Put into a mould and now is inside my microwave which Mommy bought it just for me to mess around with my baking. And I got lousy skill on baking. -.=''

Tadaa~! Is your saliva dripping? My master piece!!

Comment Time:
Hubby's Parents: You baked cake? o.0 Clap your hand everyone. Taste and look of the cake ... Pass!!

Mommy: Your baking skill is improving!

Kai Yeh: I want you to bake me one for my birthday!

* La~ ^.^v Appreciated the comments. And will bake more next time. I know all of you are very willing to be my guinea pig* =P

Sigh..

2007-07-27T05:29:00.000+08:00

Having nightmare almost every night lately...

5.06 In the Morning

2007-07-27T05:06:00.000+08:00

A person who always create hopes for herself to live on,

will feel tired sometimes ...

Realised.

2007-07-27T02:50:00.001+08:00

If you want someone to listen to you, listen to the person first.

While you said I am giving trouble, I realised that I actually no one to turn to.

Including You ...

# Roses with blood # May be heart broken #

Is not so well after all...

2007-07-25T21:49:00.000+08:00

Is not so perfect after all actually... Things seem changing when time passes by. I admitted that I need love, care and companied more than anyone else. There's no one I can turn to anymore. And I realise, I become more materialistic. In my life, there's nothing mean a lot to me anymore except money. All I need is money, and a job that I can earn myelf for a living. More than enough to spend and I do not need to depend on anyone. Love, care and companied? =) It seems getting far far away from me. Soon or later, I could not feel it anymore. As when the beginning, you're like so important to somebody. And later after a period of time, things seems fading away. I do not carry any hope anymore, in this life.. I will just let it be. Basically, I am giving up of my life...

* While you are still alive, people do not appreciate you.

Make sure they do not regret, only when you're gone.

We will not know, what will be happening tomorrow.

I am still alive today, maybe I might be gone tomorrow.

Treat me a little bit better, while I am still here.

Treat people around you a little bit better, when it is not too late to do so. *

- When I am gone, we can only cherish the moments we had before. -

- The moments will only become a history in our life -

# Roses with blood #

The Life ...

2007-07-23T02:11:00.000+08:00

Kinda satisfy with the life I am having right now. What can I still ask for? I got my hubby, my family, Hubby's family, I study well. ^.^ Hopefully it will stay like this forever. Listening to some of the old pop songs. They made me think of the happy moments.

Hubby: We'll grow old together ^o^ ! Love ya~!

Berries's Mood: Happy. Little sad because of my face. Skin is peeling off =/ Hopefully my face will be alright soon.

Confused ..

2007-07-18T20:35:00.000+08:00

If you actually found on that your own friend steals or using you, what will you do? What will you think about the person. And is it worth continue being the person's friend like nothing happened?

I Don't Wanna Fight No More...

2007-07-14T03:19:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep, everything I ever knew, is a lie, without you . I can't breathe when my heart is broke in two. There's no beat, without you. You're not gone, but you're not here. It's that's the way it seems tonight?

If we could try to end these wars, I know that we can make it right. I don't wanna fight NO more! There is lonelyness in my heart. I don't want to have a try, to live without you in my life. How can I leave? When everything that I adore, and everything I am living for, its in You.

I can't dream, sleepless nights have got me bad. The only dream I ever had, is being with you. I know that we can make it right, it's going to take a little time. Let's not leave ourselves with no way out.

I would never let you go. I mean it then, I mean it now ...

The Day..

2007-07-13T18:14:00.000+08:00

While I am blogging on this, is already middle of the night. Nope, should say is going to be morning soon. My tears have been flowing for hours. And I am now emotional extremely down. I really realised everything around me has been changing lately. I do not like the changes but I think that I do not have a choice. Is not on my call anymore these days.

I do not like the feeling of heart broken.

I do not like the feeling of being lonely once again after years.

I do not like to walk on the street and do not know where am I heading to next.

I do not like the feeling of crying in the middle of the night all by myself.

I do not like the feeling of saying, I will not give a damn about anything anymore in this life.

I do not like to question myself, why am I here.

I do not like to question myself, what am I doing right here.

I do not like the feelings of thinking back about the past. It hurts.

I do not like the feelings of sleeping alone and feeling insecure.

I do not like the feelings of worrying.

Day by day passes by ... I am very afraid that the old days will be back soon. Every morning, I wake up and open my eyes and tell myself ... 'Sigh, another lonely day ... What am I going to do today ...' What's life for actually?

I couldn't get sleep ...

I couldn't sleep well ...

I couldn't stop thinking, how my day will be today always.

I coulndn't stop worrying ...

I couldn't stop feeling insecure ...

Guess what? I just realised I actually living in my own world, alone! Is all by myself. Only by myself.

I eat alone ...

I drink alone ..

I shopping alone ...

I watch television alone ...

Taggie!

2007-07-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

This is the tag that I promised to complete yesterday ...

Here we go!

1. Describe yourself.

Emotional Unstable

2. No! Seriously, describe yourself.

- Really always emotional unstable Larh dude!

- Not too tall, not too short, I mean my height Lerh!

- Not too slim nor too fat.

- Big eye, small mouth.

- What else??

3. Two different environment you want to be in?

- What do you exactly mean?

- Accompanied by family and friends.

- Classy and elegant's.

4. If you could throw something at your enemy, what would it be?

- I prefer to shoot at the fella with a GUN than throwing something at he or she.

- Evil me!!

-p/s: I don't hate anyone currently.

5. Who you know, eats a lot but never gets fat?

- I really got no idea as I believe if everyone eats a lot they will slightly gain weight. Just like me =D

-P/s: The difference is I gain weight fast, lose weight also fast!

6. Who are the two people among your friends, who have changed the most?

- No idea at all. I don't really notice any of it. Sowee~!

7. Two things you love the most?

- My Bok Bok

- My Bi Bi

- P/s: No doubt. Definately will be two of them. If you ask person that you love the most,I would say, my Hubby and my family. =)

8. Tell me a secret.

- You just said a secret. So I can't tell you one. Lols!

9. What's your favourite food?

- Not really have a particular one. As I don't really love to eat. I got a few here: Sweet and sour spare ribs, berries, vegetable and oyster!

10. Who do you feel like slapping now?

- Immature Chinese Education People who trying to find trouble with me. I guess you know who am I refering to.

11. What car(s) do you feel like driving?

- Merz Compressor <-- My Godfather will not let me touch the car. I knew.

- Nissan FairLady.

12. What was the longest thing you emo-ed for?

- Death of my Bro.

13. Who is the horniest person you know?

- Err Hmm! I would like to say, the more innocent the person is, the horniest she or he gets.

14. What kind of face would you show to someone who stole your boy or girl away?

- I will not show he or she any faces but to give them a punch on their face or a gun shoot right on their heart. Lols!! Am I scary?? Hahas!!

15. When your paranoid about spiritual beings trialling you, what do you think of?

- I think I will be paranoid about creatures than spiritual. Spiritual are just human's soul after they died. But creatures ... Eww!!

16. And finally, what do you feel like doing now after finishing this post?

- Have a very good sleep with BiBi. I am really exhausted and tired after long hours of driving @.@

Lynne went kukucrazy because of this tag took her 2 blardee long hours to complete. And I will be kukucrazy if I do not go to my bed right now and take a good rest. Hahas! That's all for now.

Soon

2007-07-11T16:07:00.000+08:00

Received another tag from Lynne.

Friends, give me a day or two for this coming tag.

Currently I am away from home, away from my own com.

Stay tuned =)

I love being tag to keep my blog alive. Lol

Interesting ... Another Tagged by Lynne

2007-07-10T21:40:00.000+08:00

Lynne: I always complete the tag you see, except those missing one by you and Chin. Kakaa!

Girls:

1. What turns you on? Guys in boxers or guys in brief or nothing at all?

- I would say, mascular guy with jeans, without his top and of course, with cute hair nearby their belly button! Lol! Sexy~!

2. Would you buy flowers for a guy as a present?

- Of course NOT! I believe they will prefer a meal than flowers!

3. If your boyfriend doesn't have a car, would you drive him around?

- Of course I will. He is my boyfriend, my dearie, my bumble bee, my piggie hubby!!

4. Hot guy in a party, would you approach him? If yes, how?

- I definately will not approach him. I am taken, dear friend. Lol!!

5. Is size really that important?

- May I know what size are you talking about? If you say, is he tall, fat or thin, or mascular? I would say, I like him to be tall. Probably 180 cm and above, and not too fat nor thin. Just like my Hubby now! =D

6. He is the guy of your dreams. Would you play hard to get?

- I already got one. He is definately the guy of my dream. All I need to do now is appreciate him and love him more and more each day. Make him happy. Live a happy life with him. And will never ever turn him down anymore.

7. He is an hour late for your date. Would you still go out with him on that date or have a girls night out?

- I am used to it anyway, I will still go out with him. Unless plan cancel and will consider to hang out with my girls if they got a plan or something.

8. You burped when you are kissing. How would you handle this situation?

- Hahas!! I believe my Hubby and me will have a great time laughing over it. And I am sure he will try to burp when he is kissing me too! To revenge the burp I gave him. Kekee!! This is so going to be fun!!

I tag no one =D

Hubby: I love you lots. Muacks!

Menda: Hope you'll get well soon.

The 100 Questions Which Are NOT 100 -.=''

2007-07-10T20:14:00.000+08:00

You've Probably Never Been Asked ...

~ Got Tagged by Lynne

Here we go:

1. First thing you wash in the shower?

- Same as Lynne, my Face.

2. What color is your favourite hoodie?

- I would say Pink, but I am not the one who buy the hoodie but Mommy.

3. Do you like coffee?

- Not at all. Because I'll be suffering from gastric after taking it.

4. This question is missing from Lynne's and I think Chin missed it first!

5. How are you feeling right now?

- Tired but happy.

6. What is the last letter of your crush's name?

- Not a crush anymore, but my Hubby. Anyway the last letter of his is N.

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?

- Of course is aim.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

- Having dinner with my family.

9. Question is missing again ... -.=''

10. What are you craving?

- Hot Chocolate, lately.

11. Do you floss?

- Yup. My teeth. I wore braces last time.

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?

- Cooked cabbage with small little prawn. Yummy!

13 and 14. Missing!! What happen to both of you, Lynne and Chin???

15. Would you dance with someone to the taco song?

- Are you trying to say Techno? Anyway I shuffle. =P

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?

- I believe no body is so free to do so.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

- Of course I enjoy the feeling of licking the ice cream instead of biting it.

18. Do you use smiley?

- Yup, I'm loving the smiley.

19. Missing again dude!

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?

- Paul Moss in Chilli's 1Utama. He is just sitting opposite my table o.0

21. Do you like cottage cheese?

- Sorry. I am not into junk food. =)

22. What's the last song you had stuck in your head?

- Katharine Mcphee, Over It

23. How many countries you have visited?

- Erm ... 2 I think. Might be going on vacation somewhere this year. Mommy is planning it.

24. Are your parents strict?

- Not at all.

25. I'm gay?

- Er ... How am I suppose to answer this?

26. Would you go out to eat with George Bush?

- Who is George Bush? Anyway, not interested! Lol

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?

- There's Law in every country. I do not want to be sue.

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?

- Is glow in dark star stickers on the ceiling consider sparkly?

29 and 30. Missing again ... zZz!

31. Who sits behind you in your Math's class?

- You should ask, who sits behind you in your Economics class. Hahas!

33. Ha 32. ?

- I am scratching my head on this question Lynne, Chin!

34. Can you count backwards from 74?

- Hmm ... Maybe. Never try it before. Will do when I am extremely boring!

35. Where are you going to be on Saturday Night?

- Most probably with Hubby in 1Utama or his house.

36. Brown or white eggs?

- Brown is the fried eggs and white is the boiled one!

37. Like rap music?

- If it is nice, why not?

38. Ever taken a train?

- Once when I travelled to Singapore for my Cousin Bro's wedding.

39. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York?

- Nope. And never want to experience it. I am having heart problem =D

40. Again -.='' Missing

41. What day is it?

- Tuesday.

42. What was your lunch?

- Mcdonald's spicy chicken 2 pieces with coke!

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?

- Classes and one has fell a sick.

44. Missing

45. Ever have cream puffs?

- I made them in my pastry class while I am in Taylor's.

46. Have you ever seen the Butterfly Effect?

- I don't get it. I only know Menda is crazy over about Butterfly. You Buttie!

47. So, how about them, Yankees?

- The singer Daddy Yankees?

48. Do you like gay people?

- Anyone, if they don't harm me =D

49. Why do you say that?

- It doesn't mean that gay people are bad. Everyone got their own personality!

50. Are you going to answer the other 50 questions?

- I wonder are there 50 questions or lesser. You know, how good is Chin and Lynne's Maths! You can see from the above ^.^ Whaha! I'm just looking for chance to tease Chin and Lynne. Evil Me!

Let me take a break and finish my dinner before I continue the other 50 questions ...

51. Is your hair curly?

- I straightened my hair.

52. Last time you cried?

- Yesterday. Tummy ache.

53. Ever walked into a wall?

- Never.

54 and 55. Missing!

56. Are you currently wearing socks?

- Nope.

57. Favorite time of the year?

- Joining my Hubby's family, my family activities, great time with Hubby. Friend's.

58. Missing -.=''

59. Are you a generally happy person?

- No! Can say I am emotional unstable always.

60. Are you wearing jeans?

- Nope. Pyjamas.

61. The next person you'll hold hands with?

- My Hubby and family.

62. Do you sleep with the Tv on?

- Sometimes while taking a nap in the living room.

63. Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle?

- If it is beer, yes. Liqueur, I don't. Looks rough for a girl to do so.

64. Do you think you are old?

- Of course! Soon the number 1 in front of my age will fade away and gonna be my history!

65. Are you afraid of the dark?

- Of course not! I need to be independant than afraid of darkness. Sound stupid right?

66. Do you like your life right now?

- So so. I'm hoping for a better one always. Everyone thinks the same.

67. When is the last time you chosed a bath over a shower?

- Is always a bath and only shower before I go to bed. Lol

68. Do you knock on wood?

- There's no reason for me to do so.

69. Do you have a good vision?

- No, I don't. Worse is I lost my spectacle. Hahas!

70. Missing ...

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?

- I will. Depends on who he or she is. And how important he or she is to me?

72. Do you have a job?

- Yup. Planning to quit and get a new one.

73. Describe your best friend(s)?

- Playful and cheerful.

74, 75 and 76. Missing ..

77. Can you handle the truth?

- Obviously yes. We live to face the reality.

78. Missing .. Duh!

79. How often do you talk on the phone?

- Everyday, with my Hubby.

80. Are you in a complicated relationship?

- Of course Not! I love my Hubby, Kean Chien!!

81. Do you hate more than 3 people?

- I don't hate people. It makes me suffer. All the negative feelings is just punishing yourself but not others. So why do so?

82. Missing! See, I've told you. There will be lesser than 50 questions. Lol

83. Are you sarcastic?

- Sometimes. I tried to be. Hehe!!

84 and 85. Missing -.='' Tired keep typing missing, wey!

86. Do you use chopstick?

- Of course I do. But I always hold it in a wrong way =.=''

87. Are you too excited over stuff?

- Sometimes. Depends on what it is.

88. Do you shop often?

- Oh Yes!! Non of you are able to stop me from shopping. Shopping Rules!!!!

89. Do you owe people money?

- Not at all. But my parents. Uncountable. Lol!

90. Have you made a prank phone call?

- I will not do so. But I got one from my classmate, Nik. =(

91. Have you ever been to Hawaii?

- Is one of the vacation plan as my Cousin Sister PR-ed over there.

92. Do you like your hair?

- Super!

93. Do you enjoy laughing?

- Of course. I believe everyone enjoy laughing!

94. Are you closer to your mother or your father?

- Both the same. Closer to my Hubby. I spent most of my time with Hubby because my parents are always busy working. =D

95. Do you chat on Msn often?

- Last time. Already cut down lately.

96 and 97. Missing!

98. What's the closest thing to you that has a leg?

- My dog, Mikey.

99. Does your crush comment on your myspace?

- I don't have one but friendster and blogspot.

100. Do you comment theirs'?

- Sometimes, on their post.

Done!

P/s: Lynne and Chin's Maths are really good!

Now I tag:

* Ivan

='(

2007-07-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

Trying my very best, hiding my feelings ...

Berries's Mission:

Do what you should.
Do what you've said.

Only allow to let yourself down.

But not letting him down anymore ...

Exhausted Day

2007-07-06T16:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm, what a good girl I am today for helping my Mommy cleaned 2 toilet and got my floor wipe! Maybe because I am feeling guilty that I skipped Economics Class. It is boring anyway plus I am having a bad mood today.

The story begins like this:

I slept in the living room last night. So basically I do not have a good sleep the whole night. And I woke up at 745 a.m to prepare to the college. After I am done, I actually carried back some of the furniture into my room and I am sweating. Of course, gonna be LATE to the class.

So I drove to the college and the blardee guard doesn't allow me to drive into the school compound just because my carpark sticker has expired! Hell! This is nightmare. I am late to the class and now he bombard me for nothing. Who the heck you think you are? Idioto!

Very angry of me, I parked my car at the road side, walk in straight to the school office and get my new sticker paid. And I'm so about to stick on his face and ask him to look properly, I paid and shut your mouth up! Don't try to be rude to me. As you are a security guard, you are behaving like some monkey that came out from the jungle. How are you suppose to make sure that the student abide the school rules and regulations? Doink!

The school management should give the security guard some training session instead of making more student piss off with them. I am kind enough for not suggesting to fired them, but training. So peace, Monkeys! Lol ...

p/s: I feel that I am so irritating. No doubt. Hahas !!

Dealing with Problematic People

2007-07-05T19:10:00.000+08:00

I have found this article very interesting:

We have to bear the responsibility for most of the problems we face in life, but it'd be foolish to believe that other people are not the occasional causes of them.

Take for example the driver who cuts unexpectedly into your lane. Or a petulant child who just won't listen to reason. What about the colleague who seems to have a bone to pick with you even though you've given him no reason to do so?

We can't please everyone and certainly there will be people who will dislike you for inscrutable reasons. Or people who want to get under your skin just because they can. So what can we do about these people?

First of all, remember that if someone is getting on your nerves, chances are that they do want to upset you or simply don't care how you feel. So anger is not an option. Why punish yourself for someone else's carelessness or malice?

So if that person is not putting you or anyone else in danger, learn to laugh at the situation. Maybe even joke with him about it. If that person's intent was to make you angry, he would've failed, and if his expectation was that you would react aggressively, he would be surprised. He might even become your ally because he admires your attitude.

Second, most so-called "problematic" people are just yearning for attention, or crying out for help. This is their way of paying back the world for how they think the world is making them feel. If you react negatively, you are giving them what they want.

So, surprise them. Speak gently to them. Listen to them. Even give them small favours. You have nothing to lose, and you may have defused a human time-bomb in the process.

In dealing with problematic people, it's important not to perceive them in the conventional way - that they are disruptive elements that should be attacked or removed. This is the common reaction they get and exactly the kind of attention they want.

Instead of focusing on their negative behaviour, look for the things they do well. Maybe the guy who makes jokes about you also tends to work late at the office, paying attention to the finer details. Buy him supper! Talk to him about his work, his late-night work habits, his interests.

People like talking about the things they're proud of. He'll start opening up. He'll stop seeing you as a thorn in his side.

Certainly your job is not making friends out of enemies, but if you could, why not? It'll make life a whole lot easier.

You can't control how others behave, but you can control how you react to them.

Fresh Air of This Very Morning

2007-07-05T08:44:00.000+08:00

Is 845 a.m in the morning, guess what? I just got myelf prepared after got up from the bed. My Mommy came in and switched off my air condintioner. Gee~! This few days I got to suffer from lack of sleep as my rooms are still installing new marble floor.

I twisted my left hand while I am helping my Mommy to carry the furniture. Ouch! Later while, I got to unpack my Mommy's stuff into where her stuff should keep. Between, I have been trying so hard to break the freeze. But I think I failed ...

Berries Today's Mood: Despair + Frustrated = Feeling Horrible + Terrible

Not Vegetable -.=''

- Freeze

2007-07-04T02:02:00.000+08:00

All I can say is, in this life, there's up and down.

My rooms will be installating the new marble on the floor than using bucket floor.Because of this I got to pack my stuff and so do Mommy's. After the whole afternoon of napping, as You did not come and look for me. Decided to start packing things as installation of the marble floor will be held by tomorrow.

I called Mommy and she told me to pack her's first as they going to start the installation of the marble floor at her room. I moved my lazy body into the guest room and took a few luggage bag into Mommy's room and start packing. I realized that actually if tsunami is going to happen again and my Mommy is going to donate her clothes, there will be no worries for the victims. Her clothes is enough to open a small shop. So do her accesseries. Oh my God! She still dare to say that my clothes is more than hers. Slowly, I opened a drawer which full of documents in my Mommy's room. And I have found out a secret in that drawer. An envolope that written, To: Catherine ... A secret that I should not know ...

These days I started to feel tired in all way even though I am pretty sure that I got enough of rest and sleep. Something wrong about me? Yup. Something wrong. Recently have been suffering from hand shaking, and now chest pain. And yet, when come to worry something, my hand shaking and chest pain got worse. This feeling sucks!! Who will actually really concern about it?

I hate the feeling of simply thinking very much. But, I can't help it as the feeling is bothering me for few days. Unfortunately, I already know what my future will be. It is going to happen, soon or later. All I can do is, be prepare for it. There's no where I can hide, there's nothing I can do to change. This is the reality, and I got to accept it. Good Luck for myself.

Berries wish today: Break the freeze ...

- The Maslow Hierachy Needs

2007-07-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

During the Management Principles class today, Miss Cheryl explained about Maslow's Hierachy. She gave us this example:

Hunger --> Food --> Satisfaction of Hunger

And right now my friend, check out the example I have made:

Hunger --> Food --> Satisfaction of Hunger

The continue of the example above, this shown another need of human being:

Food will be digest --> Toilet --> Satisfaction of Letting Go

^.^v

- 24th June 2007

2007-06-24T17:37:00.000+08:00

Today, my hands shaking again. =/

And I just realise, my Chanel perfume going to finish. T.T

Next perfume brand ----> Nina Ricci!!

- 13 Unusual Things of Me

2007-06-22T21:16:00.000+08:00

As I got tagged by Adeline and LiLynn to post 13 unsual things of mine here on my blog. I do really think hard about it. Here we go:

1. I feel offended while people explore what is inside my handbag or handphone without my knowledge.

2. I used to pinch myself or hitting my head on the wall when I am emotional unstable.

3. Can get real frustrated while skin allergic and tend to scratch it until it bleed.

4. I do not really want to eat meat nowadays.

5. Is a must to drink tea with half a cup of milk daily.

6. When something happen I will start thinking a lot and try to find a reasonable answer for it.

7. Feel insecure easily but who can help me with that?

8. I lock myself in my room while I am emotional break-down.

9. Do not let me drive while I am emotional unstable. I guess you know how dangerous it can be as there's one time I went 160km/h at the highway of 90km/h.

10. I keep most of the things to myself.

11. Love to scratch my face while I am thinking hard about something.

12. I feel irritating while people open my closet without my permission.

13. I feel frustrated easily while people are late for appoinment and make me wait for hours.

- 22nd June 2007

2007-06-22T20:34:00.000+08:00

Berries's health:

Hands are shaking badly recently. Feeling that I am losing my appetite after today's lunch.

Berries's mood:

Depress and Feeling insecure.

Berries's Mission This Week:

Get all assignment done and focus on my work.

These days I barely can laugh from the bottom of my heart anymore.

- Good News.

2007-06-21T12:59:00.000+08:00

Got woke up by a few sms while I am sleeping. Company is asking me to train somebody today at 3 p.m. I was like no way man! I got a date with my Hubby. If you want me to train somebody, at least inform me a day before so that I can arrange my time. Not last minute. Anyway, is ok. The training has been postponed to Fri, Sat and Sun.

Nowadays, jobs come in one shot, so busy. Original plan to get another part-time job, I think got to postpone as I just got a call from Elaine, Yu Yan Shang picked me as their advertisement's main character. Elaine is not asking me, whether I am receiving this assignment or not but just telling me that the client already picked. Is ok, at this momet I need to earn more for my pocket anyway.

Good luck to myself. More jobs to come, more money to earn. =P

- Here I am again..

2007-06-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

Sorry friend! I am too busy to update my blog as you know, I am working like mad and I barely got time to rest. So so so lazy to get up from my bed early in the morning for work. Come on, is Sunday. Between I really need a long sleep.

My Mommy just talked to me and I need to wake up tomorrow by 830 a.m. Oh my god! Need to go over to my Grandnie's place. The most important thing my Mommy want to do tomorrow is buying me a new set of facial care. Sometimes, I feel kinda guilty for simply eating and pimples pop-out! I wonder this time how much is Mommy going to spend on me again.

Regarding to the Langkawi's Trip, I think I might not be paying yet. Cause I don't really feel like going. Plus, my back is still not feeling that well and I am still sick. Have been diarrhea-ing for almost 6 days already, just like last time. I wonder what is going with me again. Tummy is getting sensitive again. If continue diarrhea, I think I better go to the doctor before I get fully dehydrate. And of course, I believe after so many things had happened, I do not think that I will be enjoying the trip to Langkawi. It is just a waste of my time. Better spend the time with my dear Hubby and family than waste another Rm 430 for nothing.

Adeline and LiLynn: I know that I got tagged by both of you for blogging the 13 unsual things about myself. Give me some time as I am seriously thinking the 13 unsual things about myself. Will get it blog up as soon as possible.

- Starscope of the Day

2007-06-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

Leo: Your stars will bring you relationship problems.
Saggitarius: Your day will end with a bang.

I fell a sleep in the car while on the way back to my house from my Grandnie's and I got this dream. Here it goes..

I met an car accident together with my mother and I am about to die. And that time I were listening to my phone's mp3 with the headphone. The only thing I did at that moment is, I called you (My Hubby) to tell you one last time: I Love You.

This weird dream woke me up, there's tears in my eyes about to flow down..

Or maybe, I will not have a family in this whole life..

Berries's health today: Sore throat, about to fever. After walking under the rain.

- The Hyperactive

2007-06-07T23:41:00.000+08:00

This is what usually happen, while their bed time is over..

Pressing his car key like his mobile phone.

Imagining resting on his bed with his comforter.

Climbing on the chair like a monkey.

The hyperactive on action.

Thank you our 2 Models, Choon Yu and Ivan. =P

- Before and The After

2007-06-07T23:33:00.000+08:00

Before the shooting... After the shooting..
Half dead -.=''

- Update!!

2007-06-06T11:11:00.000+08:00

My blog is so dead after all. Finally, I got the time to update my blog after all those busy day. Went for KFC's TV Commercial shooting. This job is killing me. The shooting took a long time. From 8 am to 2 midnight. I was half dead while on the way home. Hot water bath made me feel relax and sleeping with BiBi made me secure!

Due to the shooting hours too long. Around 11 pm, everyone there got hyperactive. Playing cards, acting stupid and stuff. I will post up the video and photos. Keep checking my blog. =)

But sadly.. I got to wake up at 10 am due to I will be training a new agent in 1Utama at 11 am. This is so torturing. I am late to the training anyway. I reached there by 1110 am. I cannot wake myself up.

And guess what?! I left my whole file in the car and I need to study my notes. =/ Alright, that's all for now. Just make a short update while I am waiting Amenda to pick me up to the college. Had a very nice 12 hours sleep after 'bbbzzzzz' days. =P

Thank you Hubby's Mother bought me a pink bag. I am loving it. Muacks..

- zZzZz

2007-06-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

After a long day, I cannot wait to bathe after I reached home. Taking a nice bathe after a long day make me feel like: Oh my God!! Heaven~! Hubby went "yum cha" with friends. All I can do is sleep and wait him to be home. But Hubby, do not forget you must see me tomorrow. I want to shop! Make sure you can wake up at 12.

Regarding to LiLynn and Adeline, I am tagged to post the 13 unsual things about myself. Will blog it up real soon but not now as my droopy eyes do not allow me to. I think I really a nice sleep. Nice sleep with my Bibi! Bibi makes me feel secure and warm!

Alright mate, will update my blog as soon as possible after I wake up and get my work done. Is public holiday tomorrow anyway. But the saddest thing is I am working tomorrow. So, that's all for now. My Bibi is calling me to the bed. Love you Hubby, Bibi and Bok Bok.

- Berries Great Test

2007-05-31T13:01:00.000+08:00

You think you know me that well? Hmm.. Take the test below, prove yourself =D

Create your own Friend Test here

- The Updates..

2007-05-31T02:52:00.000+08:00

I am so lazy to update my blog nowadays. I am feeling very tired right now, but I can't wait to update my blog. Hee!! Guess what, I got to watch Pirate of the Carribean 3 for Premier and today, I got to watch Sherk 3 for Premier.

Before going to 1Utama after a long day in college, Hubby brought to me The Ship and Chilli's! The Ship for dinner and Chilli's for supper. Oh my god! This is crazy. It is so fattening! All you need to do right now, is check out the photos below!

- The Ship Session -

Mushroom soup, hot tea, hot chocolate and sky juice ordered. Popcorns complimentary.

I ordered garlic bread for Hubby, but the garlic bread taste no good!

This is what Hubby ordered for his main course. I already forgotten the name of the dish! The gravy is mix with Red wine saurce. I do not really like it as I am not impressed by the red wine. I prefer the white one. But I think my Hubby enjoyed his meal.

Tadaa! This is my main course! Chicken A'la Kiev! Is a French dish! With butter fillings inside the chicken breast. I am loving it!

Hubby enjoying his meal. Yaya! I love his smiling face!

This is me, enjoying my Chicken A'la Kiev! Yummy!!

- Supper Time in Chilli's -

Hubby in Chilli's *muacks*

This is my favourite in Chilli's, Monterey Chicken! Me and Hubby sharing the dish. Due to The Ship's dinner, me and Hubby's tummy is still feeling full, but we feel like biting!

This is the Shrek 3's tickets! Playful Hubby showing his middle finger.

-.=''
Can you spot the date? Is premier movie!!

Basically, I am very happy today. Thank you Hubby! Muacks. Super Duper love you!! I am loving the baby shrek and the babies of donkey and fire dragon.

Hubby: Yang Yang still want to shop! I didn't manage to buy my clothes and shoes. Smell.

LiLynn: About your case, I only can advise you to change your blog address to avoid this thing happen, as I don't really know what can I do for you. It might help I think. =) Chill.

- Sleepless Night

2007-05-27T03:27:00.000+08:00

Is a sleepless night once again. Too much to think, yet to be success and to be solve. There are a lot that I actually concerned. Having a very greatful thought for my future, but I know it will not come true...

I keep asking myself:
- What is life?
- What is love?
- What is family?
- What am I doing right here, in the world?
- Why am I feeling lonely?
- Why is that happening to me?
- What can I do, to get everything I lost, back?

I am here to suffer. 19 years, I learn nothing about all the above. All I am feeling right now, is a mistake to bring me to this world. Why me? Why here, when you know, you cannot give me the best.

Why are you telling me, "If I am missing, you will become an ophan forever." over the phone? I know it will happen, it is just the matter of time. But soon or later. Have you think about my feelings before telling me this? I know I left nothing in this life. I know I got nothing. Do you know how hurt I am after listening what you have said?

The sentence you have told me, I do always think about it. It makes me feel that I am a loner. What really make me feel successful in this life? Family. I am desperate for my own family. I do not have one. But I will love to have one. I will be willing to exchange anything for my family. Who understand how a broken family's kid is feeling?

I walk alone in this 19 years, I go through things alone this 19 years. Is time to treat myself a little bit better than continue letting ownself suffer. People have been telling me "Let it go, c'mon. Past is already past." When this really happen to you, is easy for you to say let go. But it is really difficult for you to do so as everything happened in the same time. In a same time, you lost the 2 most important things in your life.And knowing they will NOT come back anymore. NOT in this life!

In a day, there are 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86400 seconds. How many hours, minutes and seconds, you spend with me? How much you know about me? When I need comfort, who can I seek from?

How I wish I can just leave like this. How I wish I can end this and start all over again. How I wish, I never been here. Home alone tonight. Darkness and silent I see and sense in the house, I terrified. This is what going to happen to me every single night in the future, as I said, soon or later. The feeling is just like I am lost deep in the jungle. Without any help, any hope of getting out. Seeing no way out. I am feeling cold and lonely.

All the questions are still in my mind. I will never find the answers in this life. Why? Why still have to stay strong to get myself go through this? Why should I still force myself to stay strong, telling myself that I actually can go through this? Why am I still pretending that I am strong and I can go through this, when I know that I am not and I am going to collapse? Am I meant to be alone in this life?

Life is miserable. Life is evil. People will choose to be alive, but I will choose to end this life. I am not afraid of death. When will it arrive? I am waiting impatiently.

And when I say, I begin to walk away...