The Day..

While I am blogging on this, is already middle of the night. Nope, should say is going to be morning soon. My tears have been flowing for hours. And I am now emotional extremely down. I really realised everything around me has been changing lately. I do not like the changes but I think that I do not have a choice. Is not on my call anymore these days.

I do not like the feeling of heart broken.

I do not like the feeling of being lonely once again after years.

I do not like to walk on the street and do not know where am I heading to next.

I do not like the feeling of crying in the middle of the night all by myself.

I do not like the feeling of saying, I will not give a damn about anything anymore in this life.

I do not like to question myself, why am I here.

I do not like to question myself, what am I doing right here.

I do not like the feelings of thinking back about the past. It hurts.

I do not like the feelings of sleeping alone and feeling insecure.

I do not like the feelings of worrying.

Day by day passes by ... I am very afraid that the old days will be back soon. Every morning, I wake up and open my eyes and tell myself ... 'Sigh, another lonely day ... What am I going to do today ...' What's life for actually?

I couldn't get sleep ...

I couldn't sleep well ...

I couldn't stop thinking, how my day will be today always.

I coulndn't stop worrying ...

I couldn't stop feeling insecure ...

Guess what? I just realised I actually living in my own world, alone! Is all by myself. Only by myself.

I eat alone ...

I drink alone ..

I shopping alone ...

I watch television alone ...